The day I learned you tried to kill yourself again,
my stomach
shriveled up
like a dead fly left out in the sun.
It hurt so much to realize that I have no say,
that I could never save you. But I guess it was always that way
and to think otherwise is selfishness.
Like how when people die and
everyone makes it about themselves
Yeah, Pity me for all your pain.
The pain I could never understand
despite my
“I was the last person
to talk to her” pleas.
I could never shake you out of it,
like so much rattling of your cage
when you just swallowed the key. And no finger of mine can reach back in your throat and take it out.
It’s not enough, it never was. No words can make things alright again. No choir of angels, No golden rays. No one to see you through these dark alleyways. Maybe death’s like the ocean- and just like the ocean, we just return to the shifting tides.
If I could only
breathe you in,
o try to keep you close
… You won’t ever know
you were all I could
think about
when I was fucking
the last girl I slept with.
This can’t be fixed through
long talks and late nights.
I need to run away
and cut off the pieces
of you that can’t be
diluted through my
piss that’s laced with cheap
whiskey and lack of sleep.
French Screamoの中でも2000年代を代表する存在、Daitroの2009年アルバム『Y』が2020年に再発! どうやら2000年代再評価の流れは止まりそうにない。だが当時の激情バンド達の扱いを思うとようやくその評価軸が定まったようにも思う。むしろDaitroの表現、Funeral Dinerの表現、そしてkillieの表現の根底に共鳴していたものが2010年代のポリコレ時代を経て価値を取り戻しているようにすら感じる。白か黒か、正義か悪か、その先にお互いが理解しあえる世界は訪れるのか?それは我々ひとりひとりの行動次第、それぞれの日々の蓄積。その一歩を歩み出すことだ。表現の根底にある思想、主張を音に落とし込む過程において彼らの進化は必然だったと思う。当たり前のメッセージを伝えるために、遠回りをしながら激情を振るいにかけていく。最後まで個人を信じる彼らの表現は美しく儚い。 MZTN
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